I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
