Jerry, you need to find god
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
