If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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