i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
