I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
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