whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Randomize
