Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Randomize
