yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
operation harelip BJ is a go
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
