Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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