I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Randomize
