i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
