Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
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