Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
