you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Randomize
