ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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