I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
