your thong is hanging out like whoa
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
True strength comes from lack of pants
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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