Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
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