It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
