I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
We smell like vodka and hangover
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
