New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize