it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Randomize
