honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Randomize
