non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
