I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Randomize
