Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
people are starting to question the shark bite story
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
