how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
