Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Randomize
