I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
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