The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
