You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Randomize
