my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Boobs speak an international language.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
you made out with another girl for some wings
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Randomize
