feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
