Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
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