So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
only if we run a train.
done.
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Randomize
