is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize