This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Randomize
