remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Randomize
