I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Randomize
