There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
okay pat passed out under dana's car
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
Randomize