So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
