the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
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