i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
