She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
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