He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
