JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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