I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
