the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
Randomize