well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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