Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
