I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
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