pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
