He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
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