I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Randomize
