South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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