I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Randomize
