i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
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