Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
He's a Shit stain on my heart
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Randomize
