I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
