I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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