Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
