I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
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