I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
tequila makes me forget i have legs
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Randomize
